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Commentary:
Ah, the classic last-minute flossing strategy – a true dental exam cram session! 🦷📚 Don't worry, your gums won't spill the beans to your dentist…hopefully! 😉 #FlossingProcrastination

appointment, before, care, cramming, day, dental, dental care, dentist, floss, history, humor, i, procrastination, test

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

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2 months ago

dating, face, humor, reason, relationship, self-deprecating, single
The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

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2 months ago

healthcare, humor, irony, job, money, paramedic, paycheck, profession, seen, thing, workplace, worst
What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

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2 months ago

boot, bootlicker, consequence, fail, humor, irony, justice, karma, punishment, sarcasm, too, understand
I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

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2 months ago

expectations, family, humor, i, irony, kids, parent, parenting, patience, patient
Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

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2 months ago

couple, daily, daily life, day, every, exactly, excuse, expectation, humor, i, late, life, past, routine, sorry, traffic
Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

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5 months ago

ad, advertisement, before, extinguisher, fire, fire extinguisher, humor, online, online video, safety, seems, short, short video, tutorial, video, YouTube

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Discord this month:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

61 shares on Reddit this month:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

69 shares on Slack this month:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

74 shares on Threads this month:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

46 shares on Slack this month:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

52 shares on X this month:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Asking for a donation like Wikipedia every time someone asks me a question.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

Going bananas on Discord:

Rich people go to parties. It’s what they do, and somehow we must all watch videos of it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I have no idea how dishwasher tablets work. I’ve already taken five of them, and I still don’t feel like doing the dishes!

Just landed via Threads:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Spotted on LinkedIn:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Seen just now on X:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Making waves on X:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Just landed via Messenger:

Going to have a hobbit boi summer (throw a huge birthday party for myself, then mysteriously vanish right after insulting everyone).

Going viral on X:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨