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Commentary:
Ah, the classic last-minute flossing strategy – a true dental exam cram session! 🦷📚 Don't worry, your gums won't spill the beans to your dentist…hopefully! 😉 #FlossingProcrastination

appointment, before, care, cramming, day, dental, dental care, dentist, floss, history, humor, i, procrastination, test

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

0

6 months ago

attention, being, enjoy, enjoyment, experience, irony, less, media, online, online experience, social, social media, website
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

0

2 months ago

energy, full, humor, know, me, moment, morning, morning routine, motivation, procrastination, relatable, routine, wait, work
Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

0

2 months ago

baking, calling, compliment, cookie, food, food humor, humor, irony, someone, tough, tough cookie, worst, worst cookie
To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

0

2 months ago

being, boss, expectations, hate, humor, i, means, news, reality, self-employed, terrible, work
Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

0

2 months ago

choice, communication, couple, decision, dinner, food, help, humor, husband, i, relationship, turn
All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

0

2 months ago

back, health, humor, irony, knees, least, me, microplastic, microplastics, repair, repair work, self-deprecation, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

71 shares on X this month:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug. But you’re not gonna like the performance.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Dating apps are no place for meeting your soulmate. The best way to find your soulmate is to tweet really good.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Statistically speaking, on average, a person has two arms, two legs, one testicle, and one ovary.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Spotted on Messenger:

I made a clone of myself to do the dishes, another to do the laundry, and another to do the cooking, but we’re all sitting on the couch watching TV.

Just landed via Twitch:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Just shared via Messenger:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Trending via TikTok:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

Seen just now on Discord:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Just landed via Facebook:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Just landed via Threads:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Live now on LinkedIn:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨