Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

If you accuse me of yelling, you will start to hear yelling so you can note the difference in the future.

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My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.