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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I need a weighted blanket that won’t let me get out of bed in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

What’s said in the blanket fort, stays in the blanket fort.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Man, these end times are taking forever.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1128 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,290

Funny Quotes Topics

14,196

Funny Quotes Images

11,290

Updated

51 seconds ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Going viral on Messenger:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Reported on Snapchat:

January is the Monday of the year.

Trending via Threads:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Live now on Telegram:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

Spotted on Discord:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I accidentally relaxed too much, and now I don’t have enough anxiety to get stuff done.

Spotted on Discord:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Shared recently on Slack:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1128 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,290

Funny Quotes Topics

14,196

Funny Quotes Images

11,290

Updated

51 seconds ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Spotted on Discord:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast it had to be done by Elvis.

Live now on Snapchat:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Making waves on Messenger:

Overheard a baby crying in the grocery store the other day so I went over and joined him. I get it, little dude, life is hard.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Spotted on Slack:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

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