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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

They should invent a person for me and me only.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

The older I get, the more I realize being in a hurry is a terrible way to live your life.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who knew my bank account's arch-nemesis would be a humble tomato in disguise? 🍅💸 #KetchupAddict"

addiction, expensive, food, food humor, growing, here, humor, i, ketchup, lifestyle, me, money, obsession, relatable, ruin, think

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

0

2 months ago

6am, holiday, humor, irony, karma, morning, schedule, work
What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

0

2 months ago

annoying, annoying toy, children’s toy, children’s, Christmas, Christmas joke, evil, evil Santa, holiday, holiday humor, humor, joke, most, need, Santa, theft, toy, toy theft, toys
Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

0

2 months ago

alone, exhausting, exhaustion, fake, fake laugh, humor, interaction, just, laugh, laughing, leave, life, me, mental, mental exhaustion, mentally, office, office life, please, social, social interaction, work
My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

0

2 months ago

hidden, humor, i, irony, self-deprecation, talent
Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, cancelation, canceled, day, freedom, getting, leisure, life, love, plans, relaxation, snow, snow day, surprise
Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

0

2 months ago

chamber, communication, echo, echo chamber, humor, i, irony, love, nothing, relationship, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

44 shares on Slack this month:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to stay up all night.

17 shares on Slack this month:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Living up to your potential sounds exhausting.

86 shares on Discord this month:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m fluent in creating worst-case scenarios in my head.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The real reason for global warming is that today’s young people are nowhere near as cool as we were back then.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Freshly posted on Instagram:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Just shared via YouTube:

People text “Happy New Year” and go missing for the rest of the year!

Just landed via Snapchat:

I really miss kissing. I hope next year favors my lips.

Shared recently on WeChat:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Trending via WeChat:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Duolingo should have an “I’m going on holiday to this place very soon” setting so it teaches you “can I have the bill” and so on instead of “the cow boils an egg”.

Going viral on Slack:

Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I didn’t believe in karma until I was scheduled to work at 6am on a holiday.

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨