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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has shared:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

They should invent crushes that like you back.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has shared:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has shared:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,574

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via YouTube:

In my defense, they burned my grilled cheese sandwich.

Trending via Snapchat:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Breaking via Discord:

He doesn’t realize it yet, but this Saturday, I’ll be asking him to untangle 400 feet of Christmas lights.

Trending via Messenger:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Making waves on Threads:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Just landed via Twitch:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Just shared via Messenger:

To everyone who wrote β€œstay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Clapping in the trenches: "We really nailed that war thing, didn't we?" πŸ˜‚πŸ‘πŸͺ–

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Twitch this month:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Born to say β€œare you f*****g stupid”, forced to say β€œwow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

56 shares on WeChat this month:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

26 shares on Slack this month:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

61 shares on Telegram this month:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

37 shares on Slack this month:

If we ever make eye contact, just know I imagined way too much already.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Welcome to your 40s… you can now use this as an excuse not to help a friend move.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

14 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said β€œnext time it will be you”.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œI have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called β€œbusiness savvy.”

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,368

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has shared:

Just say, β€œMy future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡§ has viewed:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has viewed:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has shared:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ή has viewed:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡» has bookmarked:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Έ has shared:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Messenger:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Live now on Twitch:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You don’t see people giving bunny ears in photos anymore.

Just shared via Twitch:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Live now on Facebook:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

Spotted on X:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Live now on Slack:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Shared recently on Threads:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

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