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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Being awake is the worst.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

It’s this time again when you have to choose between coffee and mulled wine in the morning.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,637

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Trending via YouTube:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Trending via YouTube:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Trending via Snapchat:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Live now on WeChat:

My life is based on a true story.

Trending via Slack:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Church should be less preachy and more eat-y.

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

5 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote imagining a soldier celebrating victory with humorous enthusiasm.

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Commentary:
Clapping in the trenches: "We really nailed that war thing, didn't we?" 😂👏🪖

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

3 days ago

enough, everyone, except, good, humor, i, me, mood, morning, morning mood, sarcasm, sleep, tired, wake, wake up
If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

3 days ago

family, humor, joke, marriage, mother, mother-in-law, proud, want
I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

2 weeks ago

choice, event, fall, food, humor, i, invitation, just, move, neighborhood, planning, potluck, social, social event
It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

2 weeks ago

bear, car, car trouble, cold, freezing, humor, outside, polar, polar bear, start, trouble, winter
My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

2 days ago

book, booking, bored, boredom, buy, flight, i, impulse, impulse buy, looking, start, toxic, toxic trait, trait, travel
Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

2 weeks ago

activity, age, changes, fitness, fun, fun activity, humor, i, life, life changes, mid-forty, parkour, take, think

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Telegram this month:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

76 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

78 shares on X this month:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

88 shares on WeChat this month:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

87 shares on Slack this month:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Making waves on Facebook:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” is my favorite story about how everyone treats you like shit until they need something from you.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Spotted on X:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Guy on the day of the 1918 armistice, walking around the trench, clapping, saying things like “Great work, everyone,” and “We did it, team.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨