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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,038

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Just shared via Telegram:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Just landed via Telegram:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Breaking via Reddit:

Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Just landed via Facebook:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Why are you taking up prime brain real estate before I've had my coffee? ☕️💭🤦‍♀️"

am, crush, distraction, dude, having, head, humor, infatuation, love, mind, morning, obsession, stupid, thoughts, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

1 month ago
account, aspiration, balance, being, difficulty, envy, expectations, financial, financial difficulty, financial envy, having, house, house shopping, houses, humor, humor about money, i, kitchen, lifestyle, luxury, me, million, money, priorities, property, sarcasm, shopping, unrealistic, unrealistic expectations, worth, zero
Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

1 month ago
actually, demoralization, else, experience, frustration, humor, hunting, job, job hunting, job search, life, life experience, little, most, nothing, personal, personal reflection, realize, reflection, search, self-doubt
When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

1 month ago
comfort, expression, foam, forget, frustration, humor, memory, memory foam, never, pillow, scream, sleep
Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

2 months ago
communication, humor, i, misunderstanding, mumble, speech, subtitles, wish
If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

1 month ago
close, enough, everyone, funny observation, humor, insane, insanity, observation, perception, reality
Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

2 months ago
30, children, expert, fatherhood, humor, listening, minutes, obscure, obscure topic, parenting, teaching, topic

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

The awkward moment when someone’s zipper is down and you don’t know whether to tell them or not.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

An orgasm before bed is nature’s strongest sleep aid.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Just shared via Threads:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Trending via YouTube:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

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Activity Log ✨

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

The fatigue is reaching levels that shouldn’t even be possible.

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely responded to my telepathic messages.

I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

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Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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