I bet my soulmate is out there somewhere pretending everything is fine. Posted onMay 28, 2026 by slickboy in Funny Quotes 💾 Save Image Commentary:Sounds like my soulmate is in the Witness Protection Program of love! 😆🕵️♀️❤️ Related funny posts 🤝 Whatever happened calorically this weekend can never happen again. Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch. Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again. Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana. I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.