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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Good things take time, that’s why I’m always late.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,569

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Going viral on Slack:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Trending via Slack:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Trending via TikTok:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

“New password cannot be your old password” makes me so mad.

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
Scrolling past drama like a pro 🧘‍♂️🖱️✨ No time for keyboard warriors here!

argue, argument, behavior, business, i, idiot, idiots, internet, just, keep, mind, minding, minding business, online, online behavior, own, scrolling

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

1 month ago
alone, alone time, day, every, hack, hours, humor, life, life hack, morning, morning routine, preparation, prepare, routine, self-care, time, yourself
Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

3 months ago
activity, always, better, Friday, Friday night, fun, fun activity, going, going out, life, night, nightlife, Saturday, Saturday night, social, social life, weekend
I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

1 month ago
booth, health, humor, i, immune, immune system, miss, nostalgia, phone, phone booth, system, things, train, training, used
Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

1 month ago
architecture, city, ever, Gomorrah, history, humor, irony, nobody, planning, Sodom, urban, urban planning, walkable
Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

4 months ago
able, application, best, best friend, friend, friends, friendship, hiring, humor, job, jobs, set, should, teamwork, together
People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

4 months ago
bro, finance, honesty, humor, irresponsible, joke, just, me, money, people, personal, personal finance, rich, spending, think

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen what happens when they get elected.

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

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I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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