I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Commentary:
“Easy solution: just bring your own karaoke machine and start belting out ‘Wonderwall’ at full volume. 🎤🎶 Nothing like an unexpected solo performance to really get the party going… or clearing out the bar in record time! 🙉🎵”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • All my small talk is done with a car horn.

    Commentary:
    “Beep beep! Honk if you’re tired of chitchat! 🚗📣 Just call me the road rage equivalent of a conversation starter. Who needs idle chit-chat when you’ve got a horn as loud as my opinions? 🤭🚦 #HonkIfYouAgree”

  • My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

    Commentary:
    “Looks like your Discman was too delicate to handle your need for speed! 🏃‍♂️🎧 Maybe it was just trying to stay ‘un-shaken, not stirred’ like a true secret agent.”

  • Instead of writing letters, let’s wait a week before texting each other back so it still feels like it.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the ancient art of delayed communication! 📬🕰️ Who needs instant replies when you can savor the anticipation like a fine wine? 🍷 Let’s bring back the thrill of waiting for a text response – it’s like a digital game of hide and seek! 🙈📱 #PatienceIsAVirtue”

  • I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

    Commentary:
    “Kids have it all figured out, don’t they? Meanwhile, I’m over here still trying to decide what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe I should start taking career advice from kindergarteners!”

  • My security system is just a bunch of my unpaid bills taped to my front door.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs expensive alarm systems when you have a front door protected by the menacing sight of unpaid bills? 💸🔒 At least your bills are finally serving a purpose… as a makeshift security measure! 😅 #ResourcefulHomeSecurity”

  • My favorite dance move is trying to get out of my own way.

    Commentary:
    “Attempting the intricate steps of the ‘Avoiding Self-Sabotage Shuffle’ like a pro! 💃🕺 Who needs salsa or tango when you’ve mastered the art of dodging your own obstacles? 😅 #DanceMoves #SelfAwareness”