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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

340 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,933

Funny Quotes Topics

17,106

Funny Quotes Images

14,933

Updated

Dec 14, 2025

Users Online

3,828

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Just shared via WeChat:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Shared recently on YouTube:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

Trending via Slack:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Guess I'm just trying to reach 'full charge' like my phone, but instead I’m vibrating more than it ever does! ☕🔋😅

advice, caffeine, coffee, energy, good, health, hear, humor, i, know, much, needs, warning

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

4 months ago

bank, humor, i, irony, joke, money, pen, pens, single, string, strings, tie, trust, us, why
Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

4 weeks ago

every, home, house, humor, kitchen, laundry, laundry room, laziness, next, paid, plan, procrastination, rent, room, sleep, week, weekend, weekend plan
Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

1 month ago

anything, court, courtroom, honor, humor, nice, objection, prosecutor, say, wit
I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

1 month ago

always, humor, humor quote, i, listen, loud, loud music, Metallica, music, neighbor, neighbor noise, neighbors, noise, rock
Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

2 months ago

awake, dead, humor, nice, situation, sleep, sleeping, win-win
They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

1 month ago

break, breaks, give, health, humor, irony, lifespan, smoker, smokers, taken, time

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Trending via Messenger:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Making waves on Messenger:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Live now on Facebook:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Trending via Reddit:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Breaking via YouTube:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

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Activity Log ✨

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The more I insisted marshmallows were vegetables, the angrier my doctor got.

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Sleeping is nice, because you’re not actually dead and you’re not awake, so its a win-win situation.

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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