Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I love going “Streets are saying” before I say something I literally just made up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,999

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Making waves on Twitch:

Word on the street is that the fire in your heart is out.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Going viral on Slack:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

Making waves on Telegram:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Shared recently on X:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my credit card had more adventures than I did this year! 💸😂

budgeting, even, fact, finance, humor, i, joke, million, money, opportunity, personal, personal finance, self-deprecating, spending, waste, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

0

2 months ago

before, biblical, biblical loophole, dog, doggy, doggy style, dogs, follow, heaven, humor, joke, loophole, marriage, me, sex, sin, style
“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

0

2 months ago

change, humor, i, relationship, sarcasm
You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

0

2 months ago

competition, friendship, fun, humor, me, snack, snacking, togetherness
GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

0

2 months ago

conservation, environment, gaming, GTA6, humor, restoration, satire, should, streams, wetland, work
It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

0

2 months ago

British, culture, culture shock, geography, humor, inland, me, Midwest, people, shock, stereotype, travel
Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

0

2 months ago

Barbie, doll, movie, plot, whatever, worse

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Threads this month:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Frodo is a beautiful name for a boy. Has a ring to it.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Being complimented by a girl in public is like getting kissed by an angel.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

New year update: losing everything but weight.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Spotted on Facebook:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Going viral on Reddit:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Shared recently on Instagram:

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sex before marriage is a sin unless you do it doggy style, because all dogs go to heaven. Follow me for more biblical loopholes.

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨