Commentary:
When guys ask you about a million dollars, they're just secretly hoping for a plot twist in their own buddy movie 🤔💸😂
26 Funny million quotes
It’s messed up that there are a million songs about love, but zero about hopping on a quick call with key stakeholders.
Commentary:
I guess "Call Me Maybe" was just a beta test for stakeholder meetings 🎶📞🙃
I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.
Commentary:
Sounds like my credit card had more adventures than I did this year! 💸😂
A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.
Commentary:
When she calls you a "nice guy," just remember: you're only one fedora away from becoming a meme 🤠😂
And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.
Commentary:
Master of Disappearing Acts: Now you see me, now I'm awkwardly missing you while pretending to be busy! 🤹♂️✨😅
If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.
Commentary:
Keith Richards is the ultimate survival guide! 💀🚬 If he can conquer the Marlboro marathon, we can handle a traffic jam. Let's rock on! 🎸😎
My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.
Commentary:
Looks like someone's preparing for the ultimate online shopping spree! 🛒💸 #Goals
Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”
Commentary:
"Dream big or go home… oh wait, I can't afford that either! 😅🏠💸 #KitchenCriticWithEmptyPockets"
I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.
Commentary:
"Living on 'planet no bedtime' where clocks have no curfew! 😴⏰🚀"
