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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If someone asks you if you’re in the queue, what they actually mean is “you’re really shit at queuing, aren’t you?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Internet strangers offer the best advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

11 hours ago

Users Online

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Trending via Twitch:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Reported on Telegram:

The next James Bond should be weird. Like he wears a train conductor’s hat and is afraid of balloons.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Trending via Threads:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Spotted on Reddit:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Just shared via Pinterest:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.
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Commentary:
"When your favorite rapper drops a new track and you're like, 'Where's the beat, the flow, the magic? Oh wait, it's lost!' 🎵🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

Updated

11 hours ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Ladies, if you receive flowers with no card on them today, they’re from me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

Breaking via Telegram:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Spotted on WeChat:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Just shared via Telegram:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

What do you call it when everything pisses you off but you’re good at not murdering people?

Trending via Snapchat:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

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