Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.
  • I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.
  • Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?
  • Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.
  • Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.
  • Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.