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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

My recliner and I go way back.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Normalize ending a hang-out abruptly by saying ‘I wanna go home now’ and then going home.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,625

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Going viral on Messenger:

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Shared recently on YouTube:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

Going viral on Threads:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Just landed via Threads:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Shared recently on Twitch:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

0
I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.
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Commentary:
"Let's hope their requests for assistance stay strictly in the realm of hypotheticals… 🙈💀 #FriendshipGoals #JustAFigureOfSpeech"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Suffering from a forehead kisses deficiency (self-diagnosed).

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

The urge to buy people gifts they’ve mentioned they liked once.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

89 shares on Slack this month:

People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

72 shares on Threads this month:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

21 shares on Slack this month:

How many exercise videos do you have to buy before you get some results?

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing I miss from my past is that flat stomach I had.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Every once in a while, I go outside and run the vacuum cleaner on the driveway, just to make sure the neighbors never talk to me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,538

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Every group chat has that one person who never replies, and it’s me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Don’t disrespect me and then be the moral compass on how I respond.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Before the internet, people thought that there was only one idiot per town. We were so wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Trending via Twitch:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.

Trending via WeChat:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Just shared via WeChat:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Trending via Messenger:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Live now on Pinterest:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Going viral on Reddit:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Spotted on Threads:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Just landed via Pinterest:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

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