I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Commentary:
"Who needs a security system when you have a high power flashlight and a vigilant neighbor like this? 🕵️‍♂️💡 Just remember, no weirdness allowed in this backyard – it's a strictly weird-free zone! 🚫👽 #NeighborhoodWatchOnFleek"