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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

You spend so long trying to think of a name for your cat only to end up calling them “for god’s sake” and “please stop”.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Spotted on TikTok:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Trending via X:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

Trending via LinkedIn:

“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

Going viral on Messenger:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Spotted on X:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Seen just now on Messenger:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

2 months ago

0

I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a security system when you have a high power flashlight and a vigilant neighbor like this? 🕵️‍♂️💡 Just remember, no weirdness allowed in this backyard – it's a strictly weird-free zone! 🚫👽 #NeighborhoodWatchOnFleek"

activity, around, backyard, every, flashlight, funny activity, here, high, hour, humor, i, know, let, neighbors, power, scan, security, tolerance, weirdness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

0

5 months ago

comparison, cooperation, fitted, fitted sheet, hard, humor, just, matter, never, relationship, sheet, try, woman, women
Leaving your house and returning back safely is such an underrated blessing.

0

5 months ago

back, blessing, daily, daily life, house, humor, leaving, leaving house, life, returning, safely, safety, underrated, underrated blessing
God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

0

2 months ago

divine, God, humor, i, irony, joke, mysterious, mysterious ways, unemployed, unemployment, used, ways, work
My love life feels like when you finally spot an open space in a full parking lot — and then boom, it’s a motorcycle.

0

2 months ago

boom, dating, disappointment, feels, full, humor, humor humor, humor quote, life, lot, love, love life, motorcycle, open, open space, parking, parking lot, relatable, space, spot
The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

0

2 months ago

after, am, clap, confusion, cool, doing, guy, hell, humor, i, reaction, seeing, something
When you first meet a man, that fake version of him be so fire.

0

3 months ago

dating, fake, fake version, fire, first meeting, humor, impression, man, meet, meeting, personality, relationship, version

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on WeChat this month:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

60 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m gonna decide everyone’s pronouns and sexuality tonight. And, yes, there will be some big surprises.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday is proof that time travel exists, because it was just Friday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,647

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Trending via Snapchat:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Live now on Twitch:

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.

Live now on Pinterest:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Seen just now on X:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

Breaking via TikTok:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Making waves on YouTube:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“Have you asked Chat GPT?” Have you lost your mind?

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