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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

It’s crazy people waste their time with hobbies and family when there are strangers on the internet who need to be argued with.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Just shared via YouTube:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Just shared via Twitch:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Just shared via TikTok:

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“I’m disgusted by how many of you still use Spotify. I use a fair trade, ethically conscientious mom-and-pop platform called Apple Music.”

Freshly posted on Facebook:

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The fact it costs $15 to get a basic meal at a fast-food restaurant now is comical.

Just landed via TikTok:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Playful quote about changing mornings, highlighting humorous shift in "sleeping in" times.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
I feel personally attacked by this new definition of "sleeping in" 😂😴🌞

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on WeChat this month:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

94 shares on Threads this month:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

61 shares on WeChat this month:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

10 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Go ahead and use that semi-colon; no one will know you’re doing it wrong.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Every weekend has two days: Saturday and It’s Monday Tomorrow.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Y’all ever postpone an outfit? Like, nah, let me save this for a better day? Same.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see the double chin.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it’s someone’s birthday and I like to celebrate.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Aura is the real business card.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Just landed via Telegram:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Spotted on Facebook:

The sole purpose of your child’s middle name… is so they know when they’re really in trouble.

Shared recently on WeChat:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Shared recently on Threads:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

Trending via Pinterest:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Live now on Discord:

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

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