Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,915

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Spotted on Messenger:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Going bananas on WeChat:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Just shared via Reddit:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

Going viral on Slack:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Trending via Instagram:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Just landed via Threads:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like your cat discovered the magic art of feline sprawl! 🐱🛏️😹

bed, bed hogging, cat, hell, hogging, humor, i, love, mattress, much, pet, queen-size, queen-size mattress, size, sleep, small, small size, take

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

0

2 months ago

commission, deadline, done, humor, i, kiss, lips, need, romantic, tonight
I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

0

2 months ago

before, choices, decision, humor, i, know, me, never, risk, smart, stopped
Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

0

5 months ago

ad, advertisement, before, extinguisher, fire, fire extinguisher, humor, online, online video, safety, seems, short, short video, tutorial, video, YouTube
Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

0

1 month ago

apart, argument, conflict, drama, exaggeration, family, humor, me, saying, someone, tearing, whenever
They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

0

4 months ago

clarity, day, humor, invent, invention, sense, should, thinking, where, wishful, wishful thinking
Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, adulting, commentary, exhaustion, humor, humor quote, i, life, me, moment, no commentary, no remarks, no thoughts, overwhelmed, remarks, silence, thoughts

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Reddit this month:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

94 shares on Instagram this month:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

79 shares on X this month:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

56 shares on Discord this month:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Don’t ask me for work advice, I’m just going to tell you to quit your job.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I ordered one of those Tempura mattresses. Way too crunchy.

Trending via Twitch:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

Making waves on YouTube:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Just shared via X:

The best part about being single is sleeping around. You can sleep all over that bed of yours – left, right, middle.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Trending via Threads:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Live now on YouTube:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

It’s hard dating someone who has been single for a long time. Any slight inconvenience, and they’ll crawl back into their peaceful abode. No stress.

Breaking via Reddit:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’ve been commissioned to kiss you on the lips. I need to get this done by tonight.

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨