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“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

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Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

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I respectfully ignore DMs because I promise you, I am not your soulmate.

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Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

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Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

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If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they wonโ€™t find me.

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The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

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Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

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The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

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Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

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I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

I love my cat so much, but how the hell are you that small and take up an entire queen-size mattress?

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Sounds like your cat discovered the magic art of feline sprawl! ๐Ÿฑ๐Ÿ›๏ธ๐Ÿ˜น



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