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Commentary:
"Having Taylor Swift as your alarm clock is like a musical game of 'Beat the Clock'! 🕑🎶 No snooze button can save you from that kind of motivation! 😂 #EarlyBirdGetsTheWorm"

alarm, always, earlier, five, humor, i, listen, minutes, morning, morning routine, music, procrastination, routine, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, wake, wake up

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being social sucks all my energy.

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2 months ago

being, energy, exhaustion, humor, introvert, life, social, socializing
I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

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2 weeks ago

believe, brand, business, company, company name, GoDaddy, humor, i, name, still, surprise
One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

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2 months ago

another, confusion, heck, humor, logic, person, perspective
Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

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2 months ago

black, Black Friday, chaos, clocked, consumerism, Friday, heart, humor, i, sales, shopping, someone, used, Wii
I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

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2 months ago

asleep, away, fall, hate, humor, i, jealousy, know, people, relatable, right, sleep, wonder
A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

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2 months ago

advent, advent calendar, calendar, chocolate, holiday, humor, i, indulgence, restraint, sweets, temptation, test

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Snapchat this month:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

61 shares on YouTube this month:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

96 shares on Instagram this month:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have a yearning disability.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

83 shares on Threads this month:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

90 shares on X this month:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I bet it feels so good for a cat to headbutt someone they adore.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Just shared via YouTube:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Trending via Pinterest:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Going viral on TikTok:

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Spotted on TikTok:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Breaking via Telegram:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

Just shared via Slack:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being social sucks all my energy.

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨