Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I always fear that one day I will enter my house and find a thief, knocked out unconscious by the things fallen on his head from some closet.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Just shared via Discord:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?

Trending via Slack:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Going viral on Threads:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Going viral on YouTube:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Playful quote about waking up early to avoid Taylor Swift's alarm sound.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Having Taylor Swift as your alarm clock is like a musical game of 'Beat the Clock'! 🕑🎶 No snooze button can save you from that kind of motivation! 😂 #EarlyBirdGetsTheWorm"

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

95 shares on TikTok this month:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

75 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

58 shares on WeChat this month:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding a buried treasure at some point.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Clearly, hell is empty, the demons are all here.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media is mental suicide.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,376

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Slow blinking at my boss so he knows I want a raise.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

All these laws are really getting in the way of my driving.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Broadcasted on Discord:

I hate the person I become when I try to open a package using the ‘Tear Here’ notch, and it stays sealed.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Seen just now on X:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Going bananas on Slack:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Just landed via X:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴