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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

You see how in cartoons, when they’re hungry, their friends start looking like a chicken leg? That’s how ovulation feels.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Can we skip to the rich part?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Just landed via Instagram:

How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Just shared via Instagram:

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Trending via WeChat:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Trending via TikTok:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Just landed via Threads:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Making waves on Instagram:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.
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Commentary:
"When's the award ceremony? I've already prepared my acceptance speech! 🎭😂 #OfficeOscars"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

The circus does not condone the actions being taken by its monkeys.

76 shares on Discord this month:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Optimist: The glass is ½ full. Pessimist: The glass is ½ empty. Excel: The glass is January 2nd.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Studies show that people with high IQs tend to be lazy, or something like that. I didn’t read the whole article.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

We’ve got a shituation here.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,629

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Dear music, thanks!

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew I would be fraught with melancholy and nostalgia.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

Spotted on Facebook:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My toxic trait is that I give my friends mental health advice when I belong in an asylum.

Trending via Pinterest:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Breaking via Facebook:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

Trending via WeChat:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Just landed via Messenger:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

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