Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,498

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Broadcasted on X:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Seen just now on Discord:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Just shared via Slack:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Seen just now on X:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Shared recently on X:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Live now on X:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Just landed via Threads:

I’m full of rage, but in a very chill and nonchalant way.

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When's the award ceremony? I've already prepared my acceptance speech! 🎭😂 #OfficeOscars"

acting, coworkers, deserve, everything, fake, fine, humor, i, office, Oscar, pretending, sarcasm, stress, think, work, workplace

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

3 months ago

back, bed, days, exhaustion, humor, i, lazy, need, pretty, rest, sleep
I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

3 months ago

attraction, buysexual, date, food, humor, i, joke, me, relationship
Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

2 months ago

culture, entertainment, Europeans, humor, lot, read, shows, stereotypes, suck, television
I like my bed more than I like most people.

2 months ago

bed, comfort, humor, introvert, people, preference, relationship, sarcasm, sleep
Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

3 months ago

bright, humor, people, sarcasm, selling, smile, trust
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

5 months ago

advice, care, dog, funny advice, grocery, grocery store, hear, home, hour, humor, i, know, needs, pet, pet care, restaurant, stay, store

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

69 shares on X this month:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Spotted on Instagram:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Spotted on Messenger:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Spotted on Facebook:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Just shared via Discord:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

Spotted on WeChat:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Just landed via Telegram:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨