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Commentary:
Absolutely! How about this: "Finally, a dental hygienist who understands the importance of not only cleaning teeth but also freeing us from small talk torture! 🤐💰"

awkward, awkward moments, care, comfort, comfortable, dental, dental care, dental hygienist, extra, extra pay, humor, hygienist, i, moments, pay, silence

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Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

1 month ago
food, grocer, gross, household, household item, humor, item, items, porn, pun, selling, small, wordplay
Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

1 month ago
asking, couple, domestic, domestic life, door, front, humor, life, marriage, night, people, person, relationship, security, sleep
If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

2 months ago
entitlement, fine, humor, love, me, opinion, opinions, rejection, relationship, silly, stupid, want, wrong
Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

1 month ago
activity, day, fun, fun activity, funny suggestion, humor, love, phone, relationship, relationship humor, suggestion, switch, switch phone, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

1 month ago
affection, eat, enough, fitness, generate, heart, humor, i, intensity, irony, love, muscle, new, protein, romance, think, thought, today, witty
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

2 months ago
analogy, belief, car, Christian, church, garage, going, humor, identity

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I’m sorry I pretended I was dead when I saw you in public.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Money saved by using public transport instead of an Uber is paid for with your time and mental health instead.

Shared recently on Discord:

Do you think working at Pizza Hut would help you get a job at Sunglass Hut? You know, with all that hut experience?

Going viral on Snapchat:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

Just shared via Slack:

Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Trending via Twitch:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The Velvet Underground probably wouldn’t have been so influential if I was at their shows with a giant magnet and pulled their guitars out of their hands.

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’ve worn oversized T-shirts so much that I suffocate if I wear one that actually fits.

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

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I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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