Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.