Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

For whom the doom scrolls!

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,338

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Netflix & by yourself.

Just shared via Instagram:

Life is so exciting. I was in my bedroom and now I’m in the living room. Who knows where I’ll go next.

Spotted on Slack:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My husband told me that he used my sock trick on a recent trip, so he wouldn’t lose any. Reader, my “sock trick” is rolling matching pairs together.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My washing machine is over here taking load after load, like Bonnie Blue.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Spotted on Instagram:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Going viral on Slack:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When your dream house turns into a nightmare of utility bills 😂💸🔥 #AdultingProblems

age, beautiful, cost, heat, heating, house, huge, i, mansion, movie, much, think, where, winter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

2 months ago

alive, arguing, conversation, humor, life, nature, normalize, persistence, plants, refuse, stay
Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

2 months ago

5, back, dating, disappointment, humor, joke, key, Mambo, me, minor, music, music parody, musical, musical joke, naming, parody, relationships, text, texting, women
You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

2 months ago

attitude, funny attitude, guys, here, humor, humor quote, procrastination, sarcasm, stopped, week, work, work humor
If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

2 months ago

humor, question, riddle, watch, witch, wordplay, wrist
Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

2 months ago

am, drama, fire, humor, i, irony, myself, nonchalant, self, set, unfortunately
Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

2 months ago

arm, arms, clap, dead, dinosaur, fact, funny fact, humor, irony, people, short, short arm, T-Rex, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My mom be cutting up fruit and bringing it to me in my room without saying nothing. That’s when it hits me, nobody ever gonna love me this much.

78 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

66 shares on X this month:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

84 shares on Threads this month:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

99 shares on WeChat this month:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Nobody gets angrier than a man being accused of something he actually did.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Just shared via Twitch:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Just shared via Snapchat:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Seen just now on Discord:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Live now on X:

Giving every single movie I watch a five star review because it’s just such a joy to be alive.

Just landed via Messenger:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Just landed via TikTok:

Christmas is a very special time when I give my brother a $100 gift card, and he gives me a $100 gift card.

Shared recently on X:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨