Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,241

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Just shared via Threads:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Making waves on Reddit:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Going bananas on Discord:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Trending via Reddit:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Making waves on Slack:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you have a black thumb for plants and a mystery novel's worth of skills at the buffet line! 🌱❌📚🥘

am, books, buffet, food, good, hobby, humor, humor style, i, people, plants, self-deprecating, style

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

0

2 months ago

challenge, humor, i, irony, just, just do it, me, motivation, Nike, personal, personal challenge, procrastination, reluctance, want
At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

0

3 months ago

confidence, heir, humor, interview, job, job interview, me, think, throne
No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

0

2 months ago

archived, archived chat, chat, communication, conversation, dark, dark humor, digital, digital life, humor, life, media, online, online communication, place, social, social media, texting, WhatsApp, world
Sailors wish they could swear like me.

0

2 months ago

humor, language, me, profanity, sailor, swear, wish, wit
The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

0

2 months ago

attraction, before, cannibalism, funny observation, glimpse, hot, humor, intimacy, kiss, kissing, love, moment, moments, observation, people, romance, seeing
I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

0

2 months ago

age, age gap, am, definitely, feel, feeling, feeling young, gap, hang, humor, i, nope, people, self-awareness, socializing, still, thirty, twenty, young

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

The algorithm knows about that thing you like that you’re denying yourself of.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My life is ruined. I wish to live no more. Never mind, I found the remote.

22 shares on Threads this month:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m only dead on the outside.

28 shares on X this month:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Pepsi & Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant… and we want world peace.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Just landed via Twitch:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Spreading quickly via X:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Freshly posted on Slack:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

Going viral on Twitch:

Crazy part about being an overthinker is most times you right.

Shared recently on Discord:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

The way people who are really into each other look moments before kissing is so hot. It’s like seeing a glimpse of cannibalism.

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨