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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Is everything expensive or am I just poor?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Do people with lip filler know that they look like that?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Telegram:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Freshly posted on X:

The answer is a cabin in the woods, by the way.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI get absolutely no work done and then throw their coworker under the bus as soon as their boss asks about it.

Going viral on TikTok:

Is this art or trash?

Spotted on YouTube:

My bank account and I are no longer on speaking terms.

Making waves on Threads:

Tuesday is just another Monday, but reheated.

Just landed via Facebook:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like you have a black thumb for plants and a mystery novel's worth of skills at the buffet line! 🌱❌📚🥘

am, books, buffet, food, good, hobby, humor, humor style, i, people, plants, self-deprecating, style

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

0

4 months ago

cooking, cooking fail, drank, everything, fail, garbage, hand, hand towel, humor, i, kitchen, literally, over, right, shoulder, towel, understand, while, why, wine
I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

0

2 months ago

AI, common, comparison, confidence, confident, humor, i, incorrect, incorrect information, information, lot, occasionally, technology, tone
Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

0

3 weeks ago

asked, bar, bartender, give, Google, google review, humor, insane, keep, lowkey, me, method, one-star, place, prank, review, vibe
Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

0

2 months ago

able, country, handbag, humor, leave, spontaneity, time, travel, unexpected, unexpectedly, women
Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

0

2 months ago

humor, meditation, person, problems, relaxation, secret, self-care, wealth, wealthy, weapon
Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

0

2 months ago

cool, even, feeling, feels, humor, insurance, irony, protection, still, uncertainty

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Telegram this month:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

59 shares on Discord this month:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

69 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

28 shares on Instagram this month:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My couch better stop looking at me like that, it knows exactly what it’s doing.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Just shared via Reddit:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Breaking via Reddit:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Just landed via Pinterest:

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realizing a lot more was expected from you.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Guns N’ Roses: “Welcome to the jungle!” The jungle: “No more humans, please!”

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨