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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Foo fighters still fighting foo.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Take me back to the night we met so I can never give you a chance.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,678

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Live now on TikTok:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Over Christmas, some bastard has snuck into my house, gone into my wardrobe, stolen my work trousers, and replaced them with a smaller pair.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

Live now on Pinterest:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

3 months ago

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Commentary:
"Enjoy the oxygen while it lasts! Reality's cardio game is strong! 🏃‍♂️💨🤣"

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92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

According to my skin, hair, lips, and hands, I am doing Dry January.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

48 shares on Slack this month:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

80 shares on Slack this month:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The longer you go without something, the more comfortable you become without it. That goes for people, too.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Having a horse run off on you in medieval times must have been crazy. Imagine if your car got scared and ran away, and you found it a day later by itself at a gas station.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Going viral on Discord:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately for things, they have no choice but to work out for me.

Seen just now on Threads:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Making waves on Slack:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Spotted on X:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

Spotted on YouTube:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Freshly posted on X:

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

Just landed via Reddit:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

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Activity Log ✨

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨