I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me. Funny Quotes October 22, 2023 FacebookXPinterestRedditLinkedInEmailWhatsAppI’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me. Related Funny Quotes 🤝 I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated. It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married. Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget. I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong. Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.