Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a marriage certificate when you've got divorce experience? It's all about that perfect balance of commitment and independence 😅💔 #RelationshipStatusExpert"

divorce, humor, i, marriage, married, me, never, people, pressure, relationship, self-perception, single, social, social pressure, something, tell, think, wrong

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, doing, even, hair, humor, ingrown, question, self-reflection
Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

0

2 months ago

comparison, funny observation, humor, irony, life, life comparison, media, miss, miss out, observation, real, real life, saying, seen, social, social media, someone
Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

0

2 months ago

age, forgetfulness, humor, humor about age, loss, lost, myself, self-deprecating, time, whoops
I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

0

2 months ago

5, entertainment, feel, happen, humor, i, interesting, irony, just, keep, life, making, ridiculous, season, shit, storytelling, writers
At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

0

5 months ago

change, dealing, discussing, ever, frustration, grocery, grocery store, health, humor, i, layout, mental, mental health, next, session, shopping, store, therapy, trauma
Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

0

2 months ago

act, apology, awkwardness, backfire, day, hard, humor, i, mishap, normal, self-awareness, social, social mishap, sorry, trying, trying to act normal, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

45 shares on YouTube this month:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

69 shares on Threads this month:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

23 shares on Threads this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

40 shares on X this month:

I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I’m just falling in love with my problems now. Maybe they’ll leave me too.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I used air quotes when I said we were friends.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Just landed via WeChat:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Freshly posted on Slack:

And to think I survived a global pandemic for this.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Spotted on Discord:

I’d rather be spotted in a strip club than a Subway.

Breaking via Reddit:

Forever grateful that thought bubbles aren’t a real thing.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something is wrong with me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Someone was saying that social media makes you miss out on your real life, but have you seen real life?

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨