Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I feel like my life is being written by someone who isn’t sure if they like me or not.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,704

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Worst part about not buying snacks so you won’t eat snacks is not having snacks when you need a lil snack.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Making waves on Facebook:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’ve discovered I have a logic fetish, I just can’t stop coming to conclusions.

Making waves on Snapchat:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Spotted on Discord:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Going viral on Messenger:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Trending via Twitch:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Live now on Facebook:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hopefully, my room's sparkling enough to make her forget she has her own mansion 🛏️😄✨

Beyoncé, broke, broken, broken down, car, case, celebrity, cleaned, cleaning, close, house, humor, just, preparation, room, sleep, somewhere

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

0

2 months ago

animal, fast, horse, humor, run, speed, sport, still, suck, weird
I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

0

2 months ago

always, communication, honesty, humor, i, intention, loud, mean, out loud, say
I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

0

3 days ago

age, aging, before, conclusion, conclusions, humor, i, jumping, patience, warm, warm-up, where
What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, humor, intimacy, kill, life, relationships, resilience, weird
Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

0

2 months ago

conversation, coworker, coworkers, crazy, day, end, end of day, every, going, home, humor, office, reaction, talk, time, work
It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

0

2 months ago

consequence, fashion, fit, fun, game, humor, jean, jeans, reality, weight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Discord this month:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

55 shares on X this month:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

36 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

43 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

22 shares on Facebook this month:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not going to die because of an accident. Nor because of an illness. But from small talk. Someone will say one boring sentence too many and I’ll drop dead.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

70 shares on X this month:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Filling my PEZ dispenser with Ibuprofen for whimsical pain relief.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Bears and worms have almost nothing in common. But gummy bears and gummy worms? Very similar.

Just shared via Messenger:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Making waves on Telegram:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Trending via Pinterest:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Just shared via Threads:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Just landed via Slack:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Shared recently on Discord:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Just landed via Discord:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

I always mean what I say, I don’t always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.

I’m at the age where I have to warm up first before jumping to conclusions.

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨