28 funny case quotes - Wordgag

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

May 21, 2026

Just cleaned my room in case Beyoncé was somewhere close to my house and her car broke down, and she needed somewhere to sleep.

May 19, 2026

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

May 19, 2026

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

May 19, 2026

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

May 19, 2026

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

May 18, 2026

Humanity doesn’t always make a compelling case for its continued existence.

May 18, 2026

You ever hold an iPhone without a case on it? You can almost feel its eagerness to toss itself onto some pavement.

May 18, 2026

Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.

Apr 1, 2026

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Mar 31, 2026

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Mar 30, 2026

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Mar 30, 2026

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Mar 29, 2026

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

Mar 29, 2026

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Mar 28, 2026

In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.

Mar 28, 2026

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Mar 27, 2026

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Mar 27, 2026

Bro, you’re not allowed anymore to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife.

Mar 26, 2026

Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating on my recliner with my loveseat, in case you were wondering how emotionally invested I am in laziness.

Mar 26, 2026

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Mar 26, 2026

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Mar 26, 2026

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Mar 26, 2026

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Mar 26, 2026

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Mar 25, 2026

Valentine’s Day is a stupid and made up holiday unless someone wants to give me a present in which case I really believe in celebrating it.

Mar 25, 2026

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Mar 25, 2026

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Mar 25, 2026