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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,943

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Reddit:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Just shared via Threads:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I love when my cat sighs at me, like what’s got you stressed out my little freeloading homicidal maniac!?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Going viral on Slack:

They should invent someone who holds me.

Going viral on Telegram:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Guess he trusts me more than his phone's passcode! 😴🔐📱"

around, comfort, comfortable, humor, just, learned, man, phone, psychology, relationship, sleep, through, trust, wants

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

1 month ago
delicious, fly, frog, funny tweet, humor, i, media, much, randomness, social, social media, sucks, tweet, Tweets, Twitter, wait, waiting
You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

5 months ago
else, humor, know, me, mysterious, mystery, self-reference, ways, work, works
You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

1 month ago
behavior, chair, class, coat, coat hook, fact, hang, hook, humor, jacket, kids, over, restaurant, social, social class, working-class
Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

1 month ago
bowel, bowel movement, daily, daily routine, humor, life, living, movement, people, routine
Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

5 months ago
anyone, bed, bedtime, coffee, else, excited, excitement, going, just, know, me, morning
I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

1 month ago
another, craving, desire, food, fun, girl, humor, just, looking, search, snack

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

When you tickle a man to death by accident, it is manslaughter.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Spotted on Instagram:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Just landed via Telegram:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Breaking via Facebook:

Children really brighten up a home. They never turn the lights off, …

Broadcasted on Threads:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Sleep when the baby sleeps, eat when the baby eats, work when the baby works.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

My handwriting got like five different fonts, depends on my mood and the pen I’m using.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

Went outside. Touched grass. Got bit by bugs. Zero stars.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

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Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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