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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

What’s a beginner question to ask for someone just getting into being nosy?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Just shared via Discord:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Spotted on Slack:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Going viral on Threads:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Making waves on Telegram:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Seen just now on Slack:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

Spotted on Facebook:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Spotted on Messenger:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Shared recently on X:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

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Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Solid advice in a breakfast crisis – stay close to your friend's tasty toast 🍞 and keep a safe distance from your enemy's potentially sabotaging toaster! 🔥😄 #BreakfastStrategies"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Slack this month:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

75 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

97 shares on Threads this month:

I hate being at the age where you feel obligated to buy your whole family gifts for Christmas, but also the age where your bank account doesn’t feel obligated to support that.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

38 shares on Slack this month:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

54 shares on Discord this month:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

64 shares on Slack this month:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

80 shares on YouTube this month:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

My hobbies include trying to close the elevator doors before anyone else gets on.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

If I’m wrongly accused of a crime, I’m going to prison. I’m way too introverted to have an alibi.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

To be happy as a man, you simply need to replace your screen time with beautiful women time.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I feel sorry for non-glasses wearers. They’ll never know the joy of cleaning them and suddenly being upgraded to the UHD package.

Just landed via Slack:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

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