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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Americans are funny, man. “It’s 72 degrees outside.” Bro, I don’t speak oven.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Alexa, mute my children.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Live now on Threads:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Making waves on Discord:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Live now on Instagram:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Just shared via Reddit:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

Trending via Reddit:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Trending via Twitch:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.

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Men who tell their woman she’s pretty, for no particular reason, keep that shit up.
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Commentary:
Absolutely! Here's a humorous comment you could use:
"Take notes, everyone! Compliment inflation is the only inflation we want! 😂😉💖"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Happy return of “yes of course it’s bedtime, see how dark it is outside” to all parents who celebrate.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

15 shares on Threads this month:

The era where you dropped your phone and your battery flew out was just crazy.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Whoever coined, “No good deed goes unpunished”, must have fed some seagulls.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

Making waves on Facebook:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Going viral on Messenger:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Just landed via Discord:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Breaking via Discord:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

Going viral on Snapchat:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Shared recently on X:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Just landed via Threads:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

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