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Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

When someone asks me why I’m in a wheelchair, I want to say something ridiculous like, “I’m not standing up until I’ve saved a million.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Don’t flirt with me. I’ll show up at your house and start eating all your snacks.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

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15,753

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Trending via Discord:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Trending via YouTube:

I like my bacon like I like my men, slightly burnt and crispy, and probably killing me slowly.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Making waves on Threads:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Just shared via Discord:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Witty and playful quote about mixing religious references with internet trolling humor.

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Commentary:
Adding cross emoji and Bible verse to internet persona: ✅ Now to leave wholesome comments and spread kindness! 😇🙏📖

bible, Bible verse, bio, call, cross, cross emoji, emoji, favorite, humor, internet, Jesus, people, put, satire, slur, verse

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40 shares on WeChat this month:

Facing my uncle’s dreaded lightning bolt attack at the Thanksgiving dinner table.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

37 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

67 shares on Slack this month:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

47 shares on Slack this month:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Today, I’m wearing pink to raise awareness for people like me who forget to separate their red laundry from their whites.

Seen just now on TikTok:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Life is short, flirt with me!

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Making waves on Twitch:

“God has a plan for you.” OK, is God open to a little feedback?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Making waves on Facebook:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When you split a dessert, the waiter should bring two forks and one of those chess clocks you smack to let the other person know it’s their turn.

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Activity Log ✨

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

I don’t wish anyone strife in their relationship but I do wish my neighbors would enunciate a little more when they fight so I can hear better.

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨