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Commentary:
"Looks like someone's banking on their vocal talents to sleigh the retirement game! 🎤🎅 Who needs a 401(k) when you've got jingle bells and high notes to back you up? 🎶😄 #RockinAroundTheRetirementPlan"

career, career change, change, Christmas, Christmas song, funny idea, hit, hit song, i, idea, just, learn, music, need, plan, recording, retirement, retirement plan, sing, singing, song

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

1 month ago
25, 30, age, humor, life, milestone, perspective
Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

1 month ago
app, apps, awkward, awkward moment, confused, confusion, date, dating, dating app, deleted, going, grocery, grocery store, humor, interaction, just, life, moment, shopping, single, single life, social, social interaction, store, walk
Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

1 month ago
annoying, conversation, God, humor, interaction, me, oh, response, sarcasm, ugh, wit, yes
No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

1 month ago
better, comedy, family, humor, miscommunication, misunderstanding, modern, Modern Family, plot, show
Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

1 month ago
burger, Burger King, existence, fast, fast food, feudal, feudal system, food, food joke, humor, joke, king, monarchy, satire, system
Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

1 month ago
bring, cops, demand, hours, humor, love, me, relationship, time, urgency

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

A poorly timed two-factor authentication request will be the thing that finally kills me.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Stop normalizing things, we’ll run out of the weird shit.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Shared recently on Discord:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Trending via Reddit:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Making waves on X:

I love people who refuse to follow the crowd. The crowd is always lost, follow your inner compass.

Shared recently on Threads:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Just shared via TikTok:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Breaking via Slack:

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

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Activity Log ✨

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Two of the best things in life are laughing and orgasms. I want to make you do both a lot.

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

I would prefer not to.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Bro, did you seriously just forget about Dre?

The tag on my jeans says “Relaxed” so it obviously doesn’t have children.

There should be a withering shamrock emoji so that people can express misfortune or Irish grief.

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

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My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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