Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the incredible superpower of selective hearing! 🙉💥 Who needs invisibility when you can tune out like a pro? 😄 Next stop, the superhero Hall of 'Conversations I Pretended to Follow'! 💬🚶‍♂️"

communication, distraction, eyes, hearing, humor, i, listening, not hearing, right, single, superpower, talking, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

0

2 months ago

economics, going, good, good thing, humor, inflation, joke, means, money, thing, viral
Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

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2 months ago

call, cold, complaining, heat, humor, seasons, spring, time, weather
Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

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2 months ago

40s, age, aging, breath, breathlessness, fitness, humor, middle, middle age, run, running, sh, trying, welcome
I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

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2 months ago

beauty, confidence, cute, honesty, humor, self-deprecation, ugly
It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

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2 months ago

cost, costs, daily, daily expense, day, exist, existence, expense, feels, financial, financial struggle, humor, inflation, just, money, struggle
Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

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2 months ago

new, old, routine, sleep, young

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

20 shares on Twitch this month:

“Gen Z is having less sex.” It’s always sex, sex, sex with these people.

36 shares on Reddit this month:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

How soon into a new relationship should you let her know you’re an idiot?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

For whom the Fetty Waps.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Had salad for the third night in a row and now I get why you’re so angry, vegans.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on X:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Live now on Discord:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Making waves on X:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Spotted on Instagram:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Live now on YouTube:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Making waves on Telegram:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Welcome to your 40s—you run out of breath trying to find your running shoes.

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨