Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,698

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Making waves on Discord:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Just landed via Telegram:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Spotted on Snapchat:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m in my 20s, but somehow I’m 16 and also 55 at the same time.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t drink and drive, but some people drive me to drink.

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

2 months ago

0

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

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Commentary:
Ah, the internet – where keyboard warriors transform into motivational speakers, spreading positivity with the same passion they reserve for trolling. 😂🌈 Let's just hope they find some inspiration themselves amidst all that hate! #KeyboardWarriorsTurnedGurus 🙌

behavior, hateful, hateful person, humor, i, inspirational, inspirational quote, internet, irony, love, media, most, online, online behavior, people, person, posting, seeing, social, social media, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

0

2 months ago

breakfast, craving, eating, food, humor, i, mood, moods, sandwich, wishing
I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

0

2 months ago

care, everyone, humor, i, irony, just, me, sarcasm, somebody, someone, want
Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

0

2 weeks ago

annoyance, before, Christmas, communication, email, ghost, holiday, humor, me, much, need, quit
It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

0

2 days ago

buy, buying, buying decision, decision, humor, i, Labubu, least, reflection, tough, tough year, year
Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

0

2 months ago

always, band, city, disappointment, feelings, hate, humor, music, personal, remember, tour
There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

0

2 months ago

beverage, drink, humor, irony, joke, little, need, put, umbrella, wet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

90 shares on Threads this month:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

37 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.”

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not “ “?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey man, be careful on the trampoline, one of my buddies never came back down.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,455

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

If buying isn’t owning, then pirating isn’t stealing.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I love canceling plans. I didn’t want to go in the first place. I just wanted to be invited.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Spotted on X:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Breaking via Instagram:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Shared recently on X:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Spotted on Telegram:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Just landed via Instagram:

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Making waves on Reddit:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

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