Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,401

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Breaking via Messenger:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Just landed via Discord:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Spotted on Instagram:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Just landed via WeChat:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Trending via Messenger:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

2 months ago

0

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the internet – where keyboard warriors transform into motivational speakers, spreading positivity with the same passion they reserve for trolling. 😂🌈 Let's just hope they find some inspiration themselves amidst all that hate! #KeyboardWarriorsTurnedGurus 🙌

behavior, hateful, hateful person, humor, i, inspirational, inspirational quote, internet, irony, love, media, most, online, online behavior, people, person, posting, seeing, social, social media, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

0

2 months ago

brightness, charisma, confidence, humor, ignore, impact, impossible, necessary, presence, self-esteem, sun
Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad day, day, end, humor, marriage, relationship, spouse, work
If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

0

2 months ago

balance, bank, bank balance, calorie, calorie intake, daily, diet, fitness, food, high, humor, intake, irony, money
You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

0

3 months ago

bold, brilliant, confidence, empowerment, feminine, feminine hygiene, humor, hygiene, i, me, period, stop, tampon, tampon wrapper, told, wrapper
Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

0

2 months ago

childhood, dad, errands, family, humor, i, most, parenting, ran, truck, wait, waiting, words
I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

0

2 months ago

girl, girls, humor, i, individuality, media, podcast, social, social media, stereotypes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Twitch this month:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

They should go crazier with lab-grown meat. Invent some new animals or something. Mammoth burger.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

61 shares on Slack this month:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

63 shares on Snapchat this month:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

36 shares on Telegram this month:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

My husband thinks he can just order me around like he’s one of the cats.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

14 shares on Threads this month:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading for pleasure implies the existence of reading for pain. They’re calling it a PhD.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

ROMO (relief of missing out)

9 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,357

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The most dangerous part of your 50s is those first few steps after prolonged sitting.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

More foods should have boats, why should gravy have all the fun?

Trending via Pinterest:

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Just shared via YouTube:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Trending via Instagram:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Spotted on TikTok:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Going viral on X:

When I get bored on a Zoom meeting, I put a cursor under the speaker’s nose to make it look like they have a booger.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Seen just now on X:

The biggest first-world problem is having your favorite makeup product be discontinued.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴