Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of trading the frying pan for the fire 🔥😅! Wishing January away only to be met with the mighty February blues is like dodging a verbal storm only to catch a physical knockout. Stay strong, folks! 💪😂"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

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2 months ago

age, am, back, daily, daily habit, day, every, front, habit, humor, i, newspaper, old, read, reading, single
This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

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2 months ago

Christmas, funny gift, gift, give, holiday, humor, joke, last, lifetime, pet, tortoise, unique, unique gift
What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

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2 months ago

beer, bottle, couple, humor, learning, marriage, open, relationship, silence, skill
If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

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4 months ago

cheating, ever, feel, forgive, humor, just, people, relationship, remember, sarcasm, stupid
You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

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2 months ago

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As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

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2 months ago

accomplishment, awake, baby, first year, humor, just, life, much, parent, parenting, year

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

51 shares on TikTok this month:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

19 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

“Clean” my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

92 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you respond to my sarcasm with better sarcasm, then I might just catch feelings.

89 shares on Discord this month:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

87 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Having a sore throat as a giraffe must really suck.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

“I’m at the age where, if I use the wrong pillow at night, it hurts to turn my head the next day.”

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Making waves on Instagram:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Breaking via Facebook:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Making waves on Slack:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Just landed via Threads:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Shared recently on WeChat:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Just landed via WeChat:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨