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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Dear Stomach, you’re bored, not hungry. So shut up.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,829

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Going viral on Twitch:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Shared recently on Reddit:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Diet Coke so crisp I moaned.

Just shared via Facebook:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

Making waves on Pinterest:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

First World War. Kind of nervous.

Live now on YouTube:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Rock bottom must be tired of seeing me, they should start a loyalty program 😆🥪☕️ #frequentvisitor"

bottom, coffee, food, free, free sandwich, give, hit, hitting, hitting bottom, humor, i, life, life struggles, me, rock, rock bottom, sandwich, should, struggles

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My life coach traded me.

0

2 months ago

coach, coaching, humor, irony, life, life coach, me, relationships, self-help, trade
It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

0

2 months ago

always, choices, communication, difficult, humor, just, personality, say, say yes, yes
Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

0

1 month ago

ahead, change, dollar, Dollar Tree, humor, joke, just, name, need, price, prices, shopping, store, tree, unexpected, unexpected price
I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

0

2 months ago

before, cop, drive, driving, enforcement, humor, i, law, law enforcement, police, question, roundabout, traffic, wonder
9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

0

2 months ago

9-5, flexible, flexible schedule, home, home office, hours, humor, office, productivity, remote, remote work, schedule, work, work hours, working
The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

0

2 months ago

adult, daily, daily life, glasses, head, humor, keys, knees, life, phone, priorities, responsibility, version, wallet

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Threads this month:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Terrible things can happen if you go camping. For starters, you could want to go camping again.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

77 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

46 shares on Instagram this month:

Slowly I realize why Noah only took animals with him.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

The thing about sleep is that I’d like to get some of it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Making waves on Messenger:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Seen just now on Discord:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Live now on Twitch:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Making waves on Instagram:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

Making waves on X:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My life coach traded me.

It’s funny how quickly you become difficult if you don’t always just say “yes”.

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨