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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

There are two types of people: Those who steal food off your plate and those who you keep in your life.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

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17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

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3,731

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Grok just sounds like something that might try to eat me.

Seen just now on Slack:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Spotted on Messenger:

I think one of my biggest hangups in getting better at Spanish is that speaking with the correct accent makes me feel racist.

Live now on Threads:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Going bananas on Facebook:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Trending via Telegram:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Going viral on TikTok:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Rock bottom must be tired of seeing me, they should start a loyalty program 😆🥪☕️ #frequentvisitor"

bottom, coffee, food, free, free sandwich, give, hit, hitting, hitting bottom, humor, i, life, life struggles, me, rock, rock bottom, sandwich, should, struggles

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33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

I know that we aren’t supposed to self diagnose but I’ve googled all of my symptoms and I’m fairly sure I’m a raccoon.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

24 shares on Twitch this month:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

19 shares on Messenger this month:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

16 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Spotted on TikTok:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Going viral on WeChat:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Shared recently on Threads:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Trending via Twitch:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Breaking via Slack:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Just landed via Facebook:

This Dollar Tree energy drink has me seeing colors that aren’t available to the naked eye, yet.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Going viral on Discord:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

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Activity Log ✨

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

AI is that friend who is always there for you but gives terrible advice.

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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