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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

‘Blinded by the Light’ is really just a song about turning the bathroom light on in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Jan 7, 2026

3,692

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Going viral on Twitch:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Once again I feel like I slept in a washing machine.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Just shared via Threads:

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

Trending via WeChat:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Going bananas on Telegram:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If Halloween is over, then why am I still scared?

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

2 months ago

0

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but have you ever experienced the bliss of starfishing in bed without a care in the world? 🌟😴 Who needs a cuddle buddy when you've got the entire bed for your own personal sprawling adventures? 😂 #BedHogLife"

alone, bed, comfort, cool, ever, humor, personal, personal space, relaxation, self-care, sex, space, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

0

2 months ago

day, donuts, eat, food, good, good day, humor, indulgence, naturally, rain, treat, weather
Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, humor, lawn, life, mowing, neighbor, peer, peer pressure, pressure, seeing, social, social pressure
As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

0

2 months ago

allowed, direct, empowerment, fantasy, girl, humor, i, moon, should, speak
I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

0

2 months ago

2, afternoon, am, bedtime, day, fatigue, i, sleep, tired, wish
I like you because we hate the same people.

0

2 months ago

bonding, common, common ground, friendship, ground, hate, humor, i, people, relationship, same
Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time as possible on the web arguing with strangers.

0

2 months ago

activity, arguing, humor, internet, irony, life, much, short, spend, strangers, sure, time, web

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

100 shares on WeChat this month:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

56 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My favorite thing to do on the weekend is not leave my house.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone from Facebook Marketplace is coming over to either buy the chairs I have for sale, or to murder me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,616

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

We use our phones to watch videos that remind us of what life was like before we had phones.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Shared recently on Slack:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Making waves on Pinterest:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Just shared via Twitch:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Just shared via Discord:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Seen just now on Reddit:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Trending via WeChat:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

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