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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,381

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Trending via Telegram:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Just shared via Threads:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Live now on X:

Crazy how people can merge perfectly at McDonald’s, but not on the highway.

Trending via Threads:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Trending via Slack:

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

2 months ago

0

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but have you ever experienced the bliss of starfishing in bed without a care in the world? 🌟😴 Who needs a cuddle buddy when you've got the entire bed for your own personal sprawling adventures? 😂 #BedHogLife"

alone, bed, comfort, cool, ever, humor, personal, personal space, relaxation, self-care, sex, space, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

0

2 months ago

confusion, everyday, everyday life, humor, i, kitchen, life, people, plastic, plastic wrap, struggle, wrap
Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

0

2 months ago

90s, band, cultural, cultural impact, generation, good, impact, just, music, nostalgia, Oasis, rock, song, songs, soundtrack, whole
At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

0

2 months ago

activity, board, choice, choices, dart, dart board, decision, decision making, fun, fun activity, humor, life, life choice, liquor, making, point, randomness
Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

0

3 months ago

addiction, analogy, app, cigarette, habit, humor, lighting, opening
In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

0

2 months ago

20s, 40s, adulthood, age, changes, expectations, humor, i, just, life, life changes, love, me, relationships, toaster, true, true love, want
There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

0

2 months ago

26, bigger, cooking, day, December, December 26, food, holiday, humor, microwave, Olympics

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Telegram this month:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

93 shares on Slack this month:

It’s crazy that you don’t really argue with a baby for the first year of its life and then you have to argue with the baby every day.

39 shares on Slack this month:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I ever become a ghost, I’m gonna go back and haunt college me. Tell him to hydrate.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,232

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Just shared via YouTube:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Seen just now on Slack:

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Spotted on X:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Making waves on Twitch:

Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.

Trending via Slack:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Live now on Messenger:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

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