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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

29 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I’ve literally never copied and pasted text and thought, “I’m so glad it kept the formatting and font from the other document.”

Shared recently on Discord:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Shared recently on Facebook:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Making waves on Threads:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

Spreading quickly via X:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

5 months ago

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like romance and bureaucracy are finally coming together! 💋 Who needs Cupid when you have an Executive Order for forehead kisses? 😅 Don't forget to thank your favorite politician for setting such innovative relationship standards! 📜 #ForeheadKissMandate

affection, executive, executive order, forehead, forehead kiss, give, humor, kiss, lighthearted, little, me, order, playful, relationship, signed

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

29 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when I accidentally blow all of my leaves into my neighbor’s yard.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Trending via X:

I know my limits. I don’t always obey them, but I know them.

Going viral on WeChat:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I don’t always carry all the groceries on one arm, but when I do, my keys are in the wrong pocket.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Just shared via Slack:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

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