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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I am absolutely unstoppable, unless it’s a bit rainy.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Making waves on X:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Just shared via Discord:

The lack of a pope has got me acting wild.

Going viral on TikTok:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Going ballistic. Anyone need anything?

Just landed via Threads:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Just landed via Messenger:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
When life gives you people, make sure there's an escape plan 🍋🚪😂

anyone, humor, interaction, let, life, people, relationship, remind, sarcasm, social, social interaction, trust, warning, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

0

2 months ago

beauty, beauty sleep, day, expectations, humor, i, self-deprecation, sleep, still, trash, unrealistic, unrealistic expectations
Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

0

2 months ago

distraction, excitement, exciting, finish, humor, i, idea, new, new idea, spontaneity, thought, why
I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

0

2 months ago

activity, age, else, here, humor, i, life, multitasking, sh, think, thinking, where
When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

0

2 months ago

childhood, entertainment, humor, i, kid, Netflix, nostalgia, technology, walk
“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

0

5 months ago

chase, done, funny situation, house, humor, i, never, open, parenting, parkour, Sharpie, situation, through, toddler
You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

0

2 months ago

act, drink, expectation, humor, just, money, people, pressure, rejection, response, social, social pressure, tell, trying, turned

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Twitch this month:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

24 shares on Threads this month:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

If your kids aren’t drinking enough water, tell them it’s bedtime.

13 shares on Slack this month:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

91 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

79 shares on Facebook this month:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Never make a promise you can’t keep rescheduling.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Not to brag, but I boiled the right amount of pasta. Once. Five years ago.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Trending via Facebook:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Trending via Instagram:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Breaking via Reddit:

My reality check bounced, guess I’ll have to stay insane for the time being.

Just shared via TikTok:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Spotted on Facebook:

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨