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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Only difference between me and someone in a psych ward is I’m outside.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

The moment when I drop my phone, but my fast reflexes slam it into a bloody wall.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about guarded relationships, humorously highlighting the importance of boundaries.

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Commentary:
When life gives you people, make sure there's an escape plan 🍋🚪😂

anyone, humor, interaction, let, life, people, relationship, remind, sarcasm, social, social interaction, trust, warning, why

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16 shares on TikTok this month:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

56 shares on Facebook this month:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I’ll drink a ginger ale and eat a Biscoff cookie and sit up in kind of an unnatural position and pretend I’m on a Delta flight.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

91 shares on Reddit this month:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

22 shares on Instagram this month:

Having a job ruined my life.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Accepting you’re about to throw up, gotta be the worst feeling on God’s green earth.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If every lesbian is into older women, who’s gonna like the younger ones?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

Going viral on X:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Going viral on Messenger:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Going viral on YouTube:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

Breaking via Snapchat:

If God had known what mankind would turn into, he would have sterilized Adam.

Spotted on Facebook:

Women swear they be broke… Then, all of a sudden, here comes that Shein delivery.

Making waves on WeChat:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

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Activity Log ✨

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Somewhere, a therapist you never met knows about you.

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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