Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Dear men, my ‘biological clock’ isn’t my weakness. It’s your final deadline to prove you’re worthy.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Nobody is more cold-blooded than a toddler, just saying what they see and feel.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

“You are what you eat”. I don’t remember eating a huge disappointment.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,272

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Shared recently on Slack:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Seen just now on Slack:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Live now on Telegram:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Spotted on TikTok:

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about a man's busy mind filled with fun, energetic ideas.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who says men can't multitask? 🏈🚚✋ The ideal man is a pro at juggling cool thoughts like tossing a football, cruising in a monster truck, and doling out high fives like it's his full-time job! Just another day in the life of a true legend."

activity, always, big, cool, cool thing, five, football, fun, fun activity, giving, high, high five, hobby, ideal, ideal man, man, multitasking, sports, thing, things, thinking, throwing, truck

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on TikTok this month:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

If you don’t have a favorite spatula yet, you still have some growing up to do.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My fairytale would be called the princess and the pea sized bladder.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

54 shares on TikTok this month:

Today I told my daughter she’s giving me a headache! She told me “For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer.”

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

62 shares on X this month:

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

79 shares on Discord this month:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love that retail therapy works on me. I am so much happier and at peace when I’m buying things for myself.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Have to connect the printer to my new laptop, and my goal is to cry no more than three times.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Intro to salsa class was weird, I starved myself all day, there was no chips or dips and then these weirdos were all grabby and dancing around.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Live now on Slack:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Making waves on YouTube:

Please help my husband and I decide on dinner. We’ve narrowed it down to “It doesn’t matter” and “It’s your turn to choose”.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.

Just landed via YouTube:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

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