16 funny football quotes - Wordgag

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

May 23, 2026

You think you’re raising your kids right, and then one of them decides to be a fan of your football team’s arch rival.

May 23, 2026May 23, 2026

My favorite part of football is when they feed the players water like they’re hamsters.

May 22, 2026

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

May 20, 2026

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

May 19, 2026

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

May 19, 2026

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

May 19, 2026

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Apr 1, 2026

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Apr 1, 2026

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Apr 1, 2026

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Apr 1, 2026

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Mar 28, 2026

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Mar 28, 2026

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Mar 27, 2026

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Mar 27, 2026

A lot of y’all don’t understand politics because your history teacher was the football coach.

Mar 26, 2026