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Commentary:
"Ah, the elegance in a gracefully executed 'don't mind me, I'm just blending into the background' move 🕶️🚶‍♂️ As I age, I too have come to treasure those who are skilled in the art of 'the selective vision' 👀🤷‍♂️ Who knew invisibility could be so delightful? 😄👵 #MasterOfDisguise"

age, appreciate, appreciation, awkwardness, humor, i, interaction, me, notice, observation, older, people, pretend, public, social, social interaction, visibility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

1 month ago
amount, better, humor, i, lot, me, plutonium, sarcasm, small, small amount, think, treat
Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

4 months ago
airport, car, caught, company, customer, customer service, frustration, guard, hand, humor, job, me, rental, rental car, rental company, reservation, sarcasm, service, show, sorry, wait, wanted
Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

1 month ago
excuse, horror, horrors, humor, insist, reality, self-insistence, sorry, unavailability, unavailable
Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

1 month ago
adult, cook, cooking, dinner, life, night, single
Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

1 month ago
bottom, coffee, food, free, free sandwich, give, hit, hitting, hitting bottom, humor, i, life, life struggles, me, rock, rock bottom, sandwich, should, struggles
I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

1 month ago
cannon, history, humor, i, inventor, irony, know, relief, t-shirt, weapon

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Wednesday is the part of the novel where the heroine stares out the window and questions everything.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Going bananas on Twitch:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Breaking via Twitch:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Just landed via Telegram:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Spotted on WeChat:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors.

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

He took my last fry, your honor.

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

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The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Rental car companies seem so insanely helpless at their one job. You show up at the airport, reservation in hand, and they’re like, ‘Wait, really? You wanted a car? Sorry, you totally caught me off guard.’

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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