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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Christmas can be really hard for single people. Everyone else is having a brilliant time and we have to hide the fact that every day is like that for us.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Shared recently on Threads:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Just landed via Telegram:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Broadcasted on X:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to start a "Worthy Men" boot camp! Applications open now! 😂👩‍✈️🔍

beautiful, being, celibacy, dating, due, existence, forced, frustration, horny, humor, lack, life, living, man, me, men, modern, modern life, woman, women, world, worthy, worthy man

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

0

1 month ago

day, day name, exaggeration, Friday, funny week, humor, Monday, name, Saturday, Sunday, Thursday, Tuesday, Wednesday, week, weekday, weekend
But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

0

5 months ago

contradiction, good, humor, i, me, preference, relationship, self-awareness, someone, want
All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

0

2 months ago

am, communication, expression, humor, i, introvert, podcast, saying, shy, transformation
I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

0

2 months ago

dreaming, financial, financial humor, head, humor, humor quote, i, income, lifestyle, need
If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

0

2 months ago

argument, attitude, back, comebacks, conversation, even, humor, i, insult, nice, nothing, promise, remark, sarcasm, say, something, witty, witty remark, worse
I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

0

2 months ago

alter, change, consistency, contradiction, different, humor, i, irony, nothing, welcome

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on Facebook this month:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

41 shares on Threads this month:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

68 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I think about Adam and Eve and how they couldn’t even get a babysitter.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

41 shares on Messenger this month:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

58 shares on Discord this month:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

27 shares on Discord this month:

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

All the stops on the bus are pointless, except the one I’m getting off at.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

My mother still has some really ugly things from the 90s. My older brother, for example.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

You lose some, you lose some more.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

Just shared via Slack:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Just landed via X:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Shared recently on X:

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Spotted on Facebook:

I realized Americans were dramatics the day I found out 200 lb is just 90 kg.

Spotted on Snapchat:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Spotted on Threads:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Trending via Reddit:

Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨