Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

I’m getting targeted ads about chin fat and I’m offended by the relevance.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m sick of living through history!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Life sucks a lot less when your feet are in a creek, and you forgot your phone in the truck.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I’m going to sleep. Anyone want anything?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,931

Funny Quotes Topics

14,746

Funny Quotes Images

11,931

3 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Live now on Instagram:

Subtitles are for when you’re eating chips.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m glad it’s not snowing. I can’t imagine shoveling snow in this heat.

Broadcasted on X:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Trending via Pinterest:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

Freshly posted on X:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Just shared via Telegram:

Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

6 months ago

There are only two portion sizes for mashed potatoes: nowhere near enough (posh restaurants) or far, far too much (literally everyone else).

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, mashed potatoes, the divas of the dining world! Always making a grand entrance in either a dainty spoonful or a mountainous heap 🥄🥔 Just when you think you've found the perfect portion size, they go and play mind games with your taste buds! It's a tale as old as time: the struggle between elegance and gluttony, all on one plate of spuds. Bon appétit!"

comparison, dining, else, enough, everyone, excess, food, humor, mashed, mashed potato, much, nowhere, portion, portion size, posh, potato, restaurant, size, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,931

Funny Quotes Topics

14,746

Funny Quotes Images

11,931

3 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Spotted on Messenger:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Trending via Facebook:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Seen just now on Instagram:

“Ooh, you’ve caught the sun.” Translation: You look like you’ve been swimming in a volcano.

Making waves on Telegram:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Just landed via Telegram:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

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