Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I put the “sexy” in “dyslexic.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Laundry has to be the most sinister chore. Always waiting, always lurking.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

If I had today’s mind, I wouldn’t have made yesterday’s mistake. But if I hadn’t made yesterday’s mistake, I wouldn’t have today’s mind.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,390

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Live now on Threads:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Live now on Facebook:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Spotted on Telegram:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Going viral on Facebook:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Just landed via Facebook:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Trending via Discord:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Shared recently on Threads:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Seems like we need an "UNDO" button for compliments on these folks! 😂🔄💬

acknowledgment, back, compliment, humor, interaction, irony, person, sarcasm, self-awareness, should, social, social interaction, take, upon, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

0

1 month ago

convenience, delivery, door, DoorDash, food, food delivery, half, hour, humor, i, just, miracle, phone, pick, punch, salad, spending, technology, things
In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

0

2 months ago

challenge, comedy, deadline, event, events, funny situation, humor, i, karate, learn, learning, morning, need, situation, tomorrow, turn, unexpected, unexpected event, urgent
Talents: eating!

0

2 months ago

eating, food, humor, lighthearted, skill, talent
Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

0

5 months ago

crazy, discovery, every, first time, humor, literature, oh, origin, page, quote origin, reading, Shakespeare, time, where
If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

0

2 months ago

again, differently, humor, i, ideas, life, new, new ideas, over, reflection, regret, ruin, self-deprecating
I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

0

5 months ago

airport, humor, i, late, lateness, lot, places, punctuality, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever came up with the name “dentures” really missed the opportunity to call them “substitooths”.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

60 shares on X this month:

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

30 shares on Messenger this month:

Every time my neighbors start moaning, I pause my music to rate the performance.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Eating dark chocolate is practically eating vegetables.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I should’ve existed as a tree.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Just landed via Pinterest:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Freshly posted on Threads:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Broadcasted on X:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Spotted on Telegram:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Breaking via YouTube:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Just landed via YouTube:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Shared recently on Discord:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The miracle of DoorDash is that I just pick up my phone, punch a few things into it, and within half an hour I have, at my door, a $52 salad.

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Talents: eating!

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨