Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I love asking 5 different people for advice then doing what I want.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I often message people with the weird idea that they’ll message me back.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Going viral on Instagram:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Live now on Messenger:

Welcome to your 50s… you can now fall asleep sitting up on the couch at any given moment.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Just landed via Slack:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Making waves on Threads:

Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Why adult when you can just 'nap-tivate'? 😂✨ #LifeGoals 🛌💤"

best, fun, getting, having, humor, irony, job, leisure, life, me, sarcastic, thing, whole, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

0

2 months ago

broke, finance, humor, i, joke, money, myself, poverty, self-debt
50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

0

2 months ago

30, 50, age, buy, humor, inflation, life, money, new, perspective, used, value
A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

0

6 months ago

communication, date, girl, going, humor, just, know, marry, relationship, say, something
You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

0

3 weeks ago

baddie, forbid, man, media, posting, real, social, social media, tried
I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

0

3 months ago

argument, arguments, change, change mind, communication, correct, data, debate, fact, facts, i, illness, logic, me, mental, mental illness, mind, minds, people, persuasion, present, think
Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

0

2 months ago

back, date, funny remark, humor, irony, life, relationship, remark, sarcasm, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Messenger this month:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

29 shares on X this month:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

47 shares on X this month:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

48 shares on Snapchat this month:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Have I made bad decisions when I was drunk? Sure. But have the sober ones been any better? Not really.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

(Making small talk with a couple) So have you guys ever cheated on each other?

72 shares on WeChat this month:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Shared recently on Slack:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Making waves on Messenger:

Twitter is diarrhea of the mouth at its finest. Everyone is just going around vomiting whatever is in their brains.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

Breaking via Instagram:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Making waves on WeChat:

I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Live now on Discord:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Freshly posted on X:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨