Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Making waves on YouTube:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Shared recently on X:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

No camera can do justice to a landscape that melts your heart.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why text 'wyd tonight' when you could gallop into my life medieval-style? 🏇💐😂

back, bring, courting, dating, flower, flowers, hell, horse, humor, man, message, modern, modern dating, need, old fashioned, romance, seriously, text, text message, tonight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

0

2 months ago

chaos, dysfunctional, humor, just, life, life struggles, positivity, self-deprecation, smile, struggles, train, train wreck, wreck
And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

0

2 months ago

bag, bags, children, collection, family, gift, gift bag, humor, humor quote, i, inheritance, leave, tote, tote bag
I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

0

2 months ago

humor, memory, money, organization, purse, receipt, shopping, year
People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

0

2 months ago

everyday, everyday struggle, height, height problem, humor, people, problem, realize, say, spiderweb, struggle, tall, times, want
Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

0

2 months ago

always, bring, car, family, family reunion, freedom, humor, independence, own, own car, reunion, rule, take, take off, travel, want, whenever
People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

0

2 months ago

dog, dogs, exercise, humor, laziness, people, pet, picked, skateboard, teaching, training, vet, walk

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Threads this month:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

98 shares on X this month:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

57 shares on X this month:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re just talking nonsense all the time and not thinking about what you’re doing, you’re either in love or at the office.

57 shares on Slack this month:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

To the people who have only fans, what’s stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Trending via Messenger:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Trending via Messenger:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Going bananas on X:

The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

Seen just now on Discord:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Just shared via TikTok:

My favorite exercise is a combination of a lunge and a crunch. It’s called lunch.

Just landed via Twitch:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨