Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

I set my alarms extra early to make sure I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

If this meeting were any slower, it’d be a landscape painting.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

My red flag is that I don’t make playlists on Spotify. I just add every song I’ve ever liked to the ‘Liked Songs’ playlist and shuffle that, like an iPod.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,354

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Spotted on Discord:

First date idea: we deactivate your Instagram.

Going viral on Telegram:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Spotted on Telegram:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

Making waves on Threads:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Just shared via Reddit:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

No LinkedIn, I am not “open to work,” I am required to work.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Trending via Discord:

If you ever get attacked by a shark, just be a good sport about it and let it eat you. Hey, look on the bright side: It’s a rare occurrence, so you’re special.

Freshly posted on X:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Starting the day with a side of dizziness and a sprinkle of existential dread, served fresh at sunrise! 🍽️🤪💸

6, am, broke, daily, daily life, day, dizziness, eating, finances, financial, financial struggle, humor, hunger, life, money, poverty, struggle, whole

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

0

5 months ago

communication, girlfriend, having, humor, insane, insanity, literally, relationship, respond, text, texting
My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, aging sign, body, dog, dog years, feels, health, humor, joke, sign, year’s
This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

0

2 months ago

around, busy, doom, doom scroll, downtime, i, internet, leisure, media, pajamas, relaxation, rest, scroll, sit, social, social media, time, weekend
A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

0

2 months ago

doing, doing nothing, humor, leisure, nothing, relaxation, rest, spent, weekend, well
Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

0

3 days ago

bible, Bible quote, bio, contradiction, dating, DM, humor, match, media, message, profile, social, social media
Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

0

4 months ago

barking, comment, comments, girl, girls, i, interaction, man, media, playful, relationship, social, social media, stuff, want, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Facebook this month:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

92 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Do other people remember toasters with wings flying across our computer screens or was that a fever dream I just had?

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

82 shares on Slack this month:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can you turn your swag off for one second and listen?

100 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

A girl was coming over till she wasn’t—that’s what happened.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Americans be like, “MM:DD:YY” is how you say dates verbally, and then have a national holiday called “4th of July.”

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Just landed via Twitch:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Spotted on Slack:

Every time I see a couple riding a tandem bike, I try to figure out which one of them is pissed about it.

Just shared via Threads:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Making waves on Reddit:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Just landed via Instagram:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

This weekend was so busy, I hardly had time to sit around in my pajamas and doom scroll.

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨