Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.
  • Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”
  • Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.
  • When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.
  • Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.
  • I’d be really slim if it wasn’t for birthdays, anniversaries, Easter, Christmas, Mother’s Day, weekends and me.