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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I like that blood pressure kits come with a free, handy zip-up bag that your stuff will never fit in again once you take it out.
  • Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.
  • Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.
  • When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.
  • They should invent health insurance that insures your health.
  • Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.